The third round of The Happiness Perspective is in order! Today I’m covering the loaded topic of Self Love. It’s a term we hear thrown around all the time, but what does it mean exactly? How do we self love? These are a few of the issues I’m tackling.
I know when I first heard the term self love I thought it was all hokey nonsense. It’s kind of got that sound to it. I quickly learned I was wrong and no matter the title name, the actual behavior and ideals behind self love are incredibly important.
The technical definition of self love from psychologist Erich Fromm is “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.” In the simplest terms it means you take care of your self.
Sounds easy enough right? Then why is it something our lives seem to lack so often? Below I tackle the most effortless ways to instill more self love in every day.
- Positivity. This is the biggest one in my mind. As I’ve mentioned before cut the negative shit talk we constantly give ourselves. It isn’t helping anybody. If you’re always going to be cutting yourself down how are you supposed to be happy? Those are two contradicting behaviors. Some people find help in saying positive things about themselves out loud or writing it on a mirror. The more you pat yourself on the back in good ways, the more you’ll likely start to feel it and believe it. Having a really bad day about something? Think creatively on how to find positivity in it. Say you’re hating your body and noticing every flaw, think about how you’re able to move and do everyday things with the power your body has and at the core that’s incredible. Or focus on a specific part you love. Remember there’s more about positivity than just looks. Even thinking “Man, I killed that exam” can give you a boost.
- Stop judging others constantly, especially for the petty stuff. It just fosters negativity. The more you find yourself commenting on somebody’s appearance or other aspects, the more you’ll find yourself belittling your own body and mind. Go one step further and try to find compliments about people when you find yourself instantly being drawn to the nasty side of thought.
- Clean up your bad habits. This is different for everybody, but we all have things we continuously wind up doing only to think “I shouldn’t of done that.” I’m sure just reading that AT LEAST one thing came to your mind that you’re guilty of. Be aware of those behaviors and try to monitor them so they don’t happen as often. They only leave you with a sense of regret. If you monitor yourself and purposefully choose other actions, you may find yourself in a whole new state of mind. This can have the double sided perk of often accomplishing more too when you stop falling into these habit traps.
- Stop avoiding the things that are weighing you down. So you need to go to the DMV and are dreading standing in line and dealing with the endless circles you usually encounter? Here’s my advice. Just do it. Yes, sometimes they aren’t the prettiest or most fun to deal with, but getting them over with gets that pressure off your shoulders and does wonders. Putting things off time and time again only adds anxiety to your everyday life and increases the dread.
- Let go of resentment. This means forgive both yourself and others. I know personally this has been a HUGE difficulty for me. Most of the time that grudge isn’t impacting your current situation except messing with your head. It’s a weight you have that you don’t need. Holding onto those past problems will take a toll on you far before it would “hurt” the other people involved.
- Get to the root of your problems. This can sometimes be more than you can accomplish, but sometimes there’s solutions you didn’t even realize. For example, there was a time period in my life recently where I was feeling really down and unmotivated. I didn’t feel depressed and was getting proper sleep so what could it be? I found out I was having thyroid problems which was messing with my hormones and thereby zapping my energy. I got on medication and now I feel as I have a fresh start. It didn’t solve everything, but it took away a few roadblocks I was experiencing.
- Write down one good thing that happened every day. This falls in line with being positive. Reminding yourself of all the good that happens – even the littlest things makes it easy to lift yourself up when you get really down.
- Be healthy. I’m not saying you have to be a work out maniac and only stick to fruit and veggies (trust me I wouldn’t want to either) but making occasional mindful choices does make a difference. The experts aren’t wrong that constant bad foods and laziness easily effects your mood. Even going out for a short walk or reaching for strawberries over chips can make small improvements.
Not all of these are going to fit for every person. The whole point of this series isn’t a 100% tell-all. It’s like a mix and match of what works best for YOU.
Just tuning into The Happiness Perspective series? Catch up on the last two topics below!
Do you have any self love tips or tricks I didn’t think of? What is your go-to self love tool?
The next topic in The Happiness Perspective ties greatly into self love and is another issue we commonly struggle with. Stress Relief. Again, something so simple that seems hard to actually instill in our lives. Stay tuned.
P.S. – Music is my favorite way to give self-love. Check out my Top 25 playlist.
Until next time,